The process of matching the proposed (or imposed) in the role of psychology is called projective identification. As a psychotherapist working with clients sometimes unwittingly falls into the role imposed on him by the client. A psychologist might suddenly find himself as a savior or a tyrant, depending on what He expects the client and how strong is the projection onto the therapist. However, the Gestalt therapist is aware of a good, fast detect this and will come out of imposed roles. As in life as people are identified (merge) with the role projects on their partner for a long time, possibly for life. For instance, if you have an idea that your partner in marriage should be such and such and such, then you are looking for a partner who, for whatever his personal characteristics suitable for this role (or do you think is right), that is, projecting on him their expectations. For example – a man should be the main earner in the family.
And your partner will struggle to be "getter" keeping in mind that anyone anything he should not and that you too can earn nice. The output of this "ought", which creates tremendous pressure in the human psyche can become a disease, alcoholism, divorce, or death. Such a performance is played out in each pair. After some time it becomes clear well (play) staged or not, properly chosen role or not. If the result pleases both, it means that everything is fine. But if the result sad, then, if you have a flexible mind, the partners are rearranged and recast.